Forgive the Aggressor //
Nothing clarifies boundaries more than forgiveness. To forgive someone means to let him off the hook, or to cancel a debt he owes you. When you refuse to forgive
someone, you still want something from that person, and even if it is revenge that you want, it keeps you tied to him forever.
Refusing to forgive a family member is one of the main reasons people are stuck for years, unable to separate from the dysfunction. They still want something from them. It is better to receive grace from God, who has something to give, and to forgive those who have no money to repay their debt. This ends your suffering, because it ends the wish for repayment that is never forthcoming and makes your heart sick because your hope is deferred.
If you do not forgive, you are demanding something your offender does not choose to give, even if it is only confession of what he did. This “ties” him to you and ruins boundaries. Let the dysfunctional family you came from go. Cut it loose, and you will be free.